Do you ever wonder when your life is going to begin and then realize it already has? I do. That's happened to me quite a bit recently. I'm always waiting for the next thing to happen, thinking that my new (cool) college life will begin shortly. But, alas, these pathetic events all strung together have become my life; and I myself a mere pawn in it.
Do you ever find out that what you've been praying on behalf of for the last 6 years gets worse? I do. The situation and the possible outcomes all jump a million miles higher, and instead you're left to square one-- again.
Do you ever wonder how things can honestly get better because you can only picture how everything gets worse? I do.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Prolonging the Un-thinkable
Wow! I haven't posted for a while because I thought I had forgotten my password. As it turns out, that was not true, but I did forget my user name. :) Not that it matters entirely much, my blog isn't as hoppin' as Cake Wrecks, or Failblog.org ... But in case you were wondering, I'll let you in on what I've been up to.
* College. College, college, college. When I first started the whole process, I took a loose-leaf piece of notebook paper and flipped through a Christian College magazine and jotted down any college that sounded fancy or worth my while. I came up with about 15 different schools, and my next step was to see how many had my intended degree; art. :) With about 12 left on my list (I should mention here that College of DuPage was NOT included in this query), I set out to find how far away these institutions were. OK, cross off George Fox University and Gordon. Trinity in Palos Heights looks pretty decent, and I would love to go to Olivet since I know people there! . . . Needless to say all of my schools were shut down, and I HAVE to go to College of Dupage. COD. College of Dreams, College of Dummies. And with my twin sister heading off to St. Louis Christian College (with the blessing of my parents!) is harder than I like to admit. I wasn't allowed to go away, and I don't even know why. I just hope that it is for the best.
* Speaking of twins, mine is heading of to SLCC in less than three weeks. We've never been apart for longer than a week, I don't know how I'll be without her for a whole semester. I guess we've always known this day would come (Personally I thought it'd be because our own families had grown too big to share one house anymore), and we would finally have to learn how to be apart. I can't talk to Erin about this, because it freaks her out. She tells me not to think about it, she says that it only makes it sound worse. . . I don't know how it can be any worse. It's gonna be the worst thing ever, and I know that if it comes and I'm not prepared for it by thinking and talking it out, that it'll kill me. Although it doesn't help my twin to talk things out, it most certainly helps me. The problem here, obviously, is that we can't compromise (My friends say that Erin and I are preparing each other for marriage b/c we're already used to compromising so much :D). Either we talk, or don't. She wins, or I win. So here I am, ready to fall apart because I literatly feel like a part of me will be missing in three weeks.
Who will get me chapstick when I'm sick? Or kill a moth in my room at two am? Who will correct my spelling or tell me I'm using the wrong word? I am woman enough to admit that when I'm sick, I can't do anything. I'm the biggest baby ever, so I have my Erin get me water, and medicine, and change the Gilmore Girl DVD for me. I can't kill moths because I'm deathly afraid of them, and once I know one is in my room it's under the covers for me! I love to write (and as you can see I have a lot to say!) but my grammer n speelin is somewat lackin'. . . ;)
Honestly, I don't know how I'm going to be in 3 weeks. Erin is going to be fine. She's a trooper, and I'm probably overly excited for her. But, although older, I'm much more the "baby", and I depend on her for so much (you know, moth killing and all). And I just don't know, if she'll ever realize how much I love her and how much it's killing me to see her leave.
* I did know this day would come; I just hoped it wouldn't be here until a much later date.
* College. College, college, college. When I first started the whole process, I took a loose-leaf piece of notebook paper and flipped through a Christian College magazine and jotted down any college that sounded fancy or worth my while. I came up with about 15 different schools, and my next step was to see how many had my intended degree; art. :) With about 12 left on my list (I should mention here that College of DuPage was NOT included in this query), I set out to find how far away these institutions were. OK, cross off George Fox University and Gordon. Trinity in Palos Heights looks pretty decent, and I would love to go to Olivet since I know people there! . . . Needless to say all of my schools were shut down, and I HAVE to go to College of Dupage. COD. College of Dreams, College of Dummies. And with my twin sister heading off to St. Louis Christian College (with the blessing of my parents!) is harder than I like to admit. I wasn't allowed to go away, and I don't even know why. I just hope that it is for the best.
* Speaking of twins, mine is heading of to SLCC in less than three weeks. We've never been apart for longer than a week, I don't know how I'll be without her for a whole semester. I guess we've always known this day would come (Personally I thought it'd be because our own families had grown too big to share one house anymore), and we would finally have to learn how to be apart. I can't talk to Erin about this, because it freaks her out. She tells me not to think about it, she says that it only makes it sound worse. . . I don't know how it can be any worse. It's gonna be the worst thing ever, and I know that if it comes and I'm not prepared for it by thinking and talking it out, that it'll kill me. Although it doesn't help my twin to talk things out, it most certainly helps me. The problem here, obviously, is that we can't compromise (My friends say that Erin and I are preparing each other for marriage b/c we're already used to compromising so much :D). Either we talk, or don't. She wins, or I win. So here I am, ready to fall apart because I literatly feel like a part of me will be missing in three weeks.
Who will get me chapstick when I'm sick? Or kill a moth in my room at two am? Who will correct my spelling or tell me I'm using the wrong word? I am woman enough to admit that when I'm sick, I can't do anything. I'm the biggest baby ever, so I have my Erin get me water, and medicine, and change the Gilmore Girl DVD for me. I can't kill moths because I'm deathly afraid of them, and once I know one is in my room it's under the covers for me! I love to write (and as you can see I have a lot to say!) but my grammer n speelin is somewat lackin'. . . ;)
Honestly, I don't know how I'm going to be in 3 weeks. Erin is going to be fine. She's a trooper, and I'm probably overly excited for her. But, although older, I'm much more the "baby", and I depend on her for so much (you know, moth killing and all). And I just don't know, if she'll ever realize how much I love her and how much it's killing me to see her leave.
* I did know this day would come; I just hoped it wouldn't be here until a much later date.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Saturday Morning
Today I woke up at 10:30. Ten THIRTY! But when I was younger, that never would've happened. You see on Saturdays, even though it was your one day a week to sleep in, you never would. Why? Because of Saturday Morning T.V. shows, because they were so great.
When I was growing up, Saturday morning had it's own theme song, "Five hours of summer, once a week! (One Saturday Morning...)" Not only were the cartoons and child soap operas helpful in everyday life, but even the commericals were chalk full of information. You would find out what new Hot Wheels race car track was "IN STORES NOW!" Or that the new 'Real Life Doll' that could actually wet herself. These commericals would be the bulk of what I put on my Christmas Lists every year. And somehow I always thought that all the cool girl toys would be waiting for me under the Christmas Tree that year, and even the cool boy toys I'd still get to play with, because my cousin Luke would somehow magically get those. It didn't matter that every Christmas came and went without the doll that could pee her pants, those commericals still proved to be sometimes more entertaining than the shows sometimes. It's sad to see how far Saturday Morning has come: From George and Jane Jetson, to Lizzie McGuire, now to Miley Cirus Pop-diva sensation (whatever).
It's times like these when I wish change didnt' have to happen. Why do Powerpuff Girls who replaced Bonkers get replaced by Dora the Explorer? And when did Barney turn gay? I don't know. All I know is I am so thankful for my saturday morning cartoons-theme song and all. I will never forget waking up at 7 am (yikes) to go downstairs with my cereal to watch 'How Much Stuff Can an Elephant Crush'. And I'm so glad that I know the Jonas Brothers, Kevin, Joe and Nick (aka Curly, Cocky and Oldest), are just copy cats of the Lawrence Brothers: Joe, Matt and Andy. :)
When I was growing up, Saturday morning had it's own theme song, "Five hours of summer, once a week! (One Saturday Morning...)" Not only were the cartoons and child soap operas helpful in everyday life, but even the commericals were chalk full of information. You would find out what new Hot Wheels race car track was "IN STORES NOW!" Or that the new 'Real Life Doll' that could actually wet herself. These commericals would be the bulk of what I put on my Christmas Lists every year. And somehow I always thought that all the cool girl toys would be waiting for me under the Christmas Tree that year, and even the cool boy toys I'd still get to play with, because my cousin Luke would somehow magically get those. It didn't matter that every Christmas came and went without the doll that could pee her pants, those commericals still proved to be sometimes more entertaining than the shows sometimes. It's sad to see how far Saturday Morning has come: From George and Jane Jetson, to Lizzie McGuire, now to Miley Cirus Pop-diva sensation (whatever).
It's times like these when I wish change didnt' have to happen. Why do Powerpuff Girls who replaced Bonkers get replaced by Dora the Explorer? And when did Barney turn gay? I don't know. All I know is I am so thankful for my saturday morning cartoons-theme song and all. I will never forget waking up at 7 am (yikes) to go downstairs with my cereal to watch 'How Much Stuff Can an Elephant Crush'. And I'm so glad that I know the Jonas Brothers, Kevin, Joe and Nick (aka Curly, Cocky and Oldest), are just copy cats of the Lawrence Brothers: Joe, Matt and Andy. :)
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Spring is Sprung
When we were little, my mom would sing us this little tune that her dad, my Grandpa Giba used to sing to let us know when it was spring. And although it isn't technically spring, I thought it was the most spring like day we've had yet. It goes like this, "Spring is sprung, the grass is ris, I wonder where the flowers is?" :) it doesn't make that much sense in theory, but I like it, and I will probably say it to my children one day.
Also, tonight, being St. Patrick's Day, our family always (usually) gets together with the Baumgartens. Well a stupid, stupid, someone that Community School of the Arts (where I take my watercolor class every Tuseday night) should have spring break next week, when it is spring, rather than on a holiday. I'm; sooo bummed that I have to miss family and food, two of my favorite things in the world. :) But I am learning a lot in my class. My teacher is wonderful, so nice and she's a really talented artist. She helped me make the Riverdance picture, she gave me lots of tips, and it wasn't even a painting that I did for class, it was one that my friend asked me to paint. I was really greatful for her tips, and I think it came out pretty well. :)
I hope everyone has a good St. Patty's Day. ERIN GO BRAUGH! (I think that's it).
-Happy birthday brother Chris!
Also, tonight, being St. Patrick's Day, our family always (usually) gets together with the Baumgartens. Well a stupid, stupid, someone that Community School of the Arts (where I take my watercolor class every Tuseday night) should have spring break next week, when it is spring, rather than on a holiday. I'm; sooo bummed that I have to miss family and food, two of my favorite things in the world. :) But I am learning a lot in my class. My teacher is wonderful, so nice and she's a really talented artist. She helped me make the Riverdance picture, she gave me lots of tips, and it wasn't even a painting that I did for class, it was one that my friend asked me to paint. I was really greatful for her tips, and I think it came out pretty well. :)
I hope everyone has a good St. Patty's Day. ERIN GO BRAUGH! (I think that's it).
-Happy birthday brother Chris!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Forgotten Passwords
Well, needless to say I have one password for everything. It's awesome, I use it for my banking, facebook, myspace, e-mails, everything and anything. However, it is too short to use for my blog. Alas, I had to think up a new one, and that was just...not good. Anyways, I have a new password now, and I think I will remember it from now on. ;)
I have to work on getting new pictures up. I want one of my face and not just Hawaii. But Erin must help me with that, so I'll have to do that when I get home. Also on my to-do list back at the ranch; a shower. Niiice. I woke up too late this morning to wash my hair, and I had to go babysitting, so I just threw on a hat. Pretty hilarious.
Also, today is my mom's surgery. She broke her left-top (sorry, I don't know what this bone is called...I should ask Anna) arm bone by just lifting normal things. Her bones became so fragile from all the chemo they're pumping in to her. When she was complaining about her arm hurting we were all afraid is was the cancer spreading again. And thank you JESUS that is was broken. Even though it is awful, we are so happy to see that Jesus still keeps it from spreading.
I have to work on getting new pictures up. I want one of my face and not just Hawaii. But Erin must help me with that, so I'll have to do that when I get home. Also on my to-do list back at the ranch; a shower. Niiice. I woke up too late this morning to wash my hair, and I had to go babysitting, so I just threw on a hat. Pretty hilarious.
Also, today is my mom's surgery. She broke her left-top (sorry, I don't know what this bone is called...I should ask Anna) arm bone by just lifting normal things. Her bones became so fragile from all the chemo they're pumping in to her. When she was complaining about her arm hurting we were all afraid is was the cancer spreading again. And thank you JESUS that is was broken. Even though it is awful, we are so happy to see that Jesus still keeps it from spreading.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Intro into blogging.
Deep breath, this is my first blog posting. And let me tell you this has been a long time coming. I've written it over and over again in my head, wondering what important news or insights I could give. But, alas, I realized the only people who will read this (if any) are only my family members who know anything and everything I would write. :) So you'll have to make do with the promise that there will be better things to come in this blog!! And I'm sorry about the picture, I have to find one that I'm willing to put up for all to see. ;)
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